What's this Tattoo Nonsense?
by IWishUCouldGoAway
Summary: One shot. Tony only has one tattoo, and it's a mistake. Based off a prompt on Tumblr.


There was only one tattoo on Tony's body.

It was, strangely enough, a cartoon cat on his shoulder. He kept it well hidden, and for good reason. A businessman (sort of) that had a tattoo of a cartoon cat? Preposterous.

Tony was actually against tattoos and needles in general. He couldn't stand them. When he has to get shots, Tony would hide in his lab until Pepper dragged him out of it by the ear, Tony complaining.

No one was supposed to find out. Tony was actually very good at keeping secrets. It was just the wrong moment at the wrong time.

He was in his lab, working on his right gauntlet. It had gotten almost completely smashed from the last battle. "Sir, you have a call coming from Colonel Rhodes." Tony looked up from his work. "Put him on the big screen, J."

Rhodey appeared distressed on-screen. His eyes were bloodshot, which was a telltale sign of an overworked or stressed Rhodey. "Hey, platypus. What's the matter?"

"They found out." Tony dropped the drill he had been holding. "Rhodey, we kept the secret since sophomore year. What made you break that?" Tony wasn't mad, just annoyed. "Hey, it wasn't my fault. Yesterday, I was training with a tank top on. Hank came in, saw me, laughed, and took a picture. A goddamn picture!" Tony stifled a laugh. It was hilarious but dangerous. Like Donald Trump's hair.

"Well, I've been living with two master assassin's for a year who still haven't found out yet, so I call that a win. You owe me $500, though."

"Tony, if anything, you have too much money. So no, I'm not going to give you five hundred." Rhodey ended the call. "Asshole," Tony muttered, but he was smiling.

Two hours later, Tony could feel himself growing tired. "Coffee time," He said to himself. "Yay!" He went to the communal kitchen, as it had the best coffee. It was three am, so no one would be there. Tony quickly went over to the pot and got the water boiling.

"Is that a cat?" Tony jumped several feet in the air (more like several inches) when he heard Natasha's voice. He turned rapidly to see Natasha with a smirk on her face. Tony realized he came down to the kitchen in nothing but sweatpants and a wifebeater. He jinxed himself.

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me why you have a cat on your shoulder?"

"No."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Tell me."

"No." The coffee was ready and Tony grabbed his mug (which was a badass Iron Man mug) and walked out of the kitchen, trying not to run for his sake. He wouldn't let Natasha see him so weak.

Natasha never brought it up again, probably waiting for Tony to prank her, then she could use it as blackmail. That is, until a game of Truth or Dare. The team (minus Thor, he was in Asgard), along with Rhodey and Pepper, were all participating.

"Bruce, truth or dare?" Clint asked. Bruce pondered for a second before picking truth. "Tell me, in full detail, your first kiss." Bruce blushed.

"It was eighth grade. I was talking to this girl, Lizzie Goldman. She had the frizziest brown hair I've ever seen. She asked me for help on her homework, and I agreed, mainly because she was hot. When we got back to her place, her parents weren't home, so we..."

Tony laughed. "Oh, Brucie bear! Naughty naughty!" Everyone was laughing at Bruce's bright blush.

"Natasha, truth or dare?" He questioned after a minute. "Dare." She said, not looking up from her gun. "I dare you to go grab a razor and shave Steve's legs." Steve sputtered, while Natasha looked amused. "Okay, let me get it." She got up and went to the washroom, quickly coming back with shaving cream and a razor.

"Steve take off your pants." Steve blushed like a virgin bride. "Natasha, you don't have to be so blunt," Tony remarked. She glared at him and put her focus on Steve's legs, which were considerably hairy. After Natasha's shaving job, though, they looked as smooth as a baby's bottom.

"Tony, truth or dare?" Nat asked. "Dare," He answered. "I dare you to tell me why you have a tattoo." Both Tony and Rhodey froze, and Tony shot a withering gaze at Natasha, almost like saying why would you do this to me?

"You have a tattoo? But you hate needles." Clint asked, confused. "I thought you said no one knew!" Rhodey whispered furiously. "Yeah, well I lied," Tony whispered back. All eyes were on them.

"Okay, I was in my sophomore year of MIT. Rhodey was my roommate, and one night, we got very drunk on whiskey and scotch. Rhodey thought it would be an excellent idea to get tattoos. I was so hammered that I could barely think, so when we got to the tattoo parlor, we got matching tattoos. The next morning, we woke up on the floor, our arms hurting like hell. Rest is history."

"I wanna see!" Clint whined like a little kid. "Nat just said I had to tell her why I had it. I don't have to show you."

With that, the matter was closed.

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Clint found out later by sneaking into Tony's room and looking at him when he was sleeping a week later.

iiiiiii

Late night post. I hope you enjoyed. I should be working on other things, but I'm not.


End file.
